Sri Bhagavan has always told us that setting right your relationships is one of the most vital components of the Awakening
process, and forgiveness, especially knowing how to forgive correctly, definitely plays a big part in
The problem is that all this time we've been going about forgiving the wrong way. This way
Sri Bhagavan Explains How to Forgive--
the Correct Way
In one of Sri Bhagavan's darshans a seeker asked the question, "How to forgive, even if it's
unforgivable?" In this inspirational video Bhagavan explains his teaching of "suffer and forgive" and tells
how to forgive the right way (a transcript follows.)
Asking for forgiveness: the correct way
Actually, the teaching is "suffer and forgive," which means you first suffer and then
Here the word "forgiveness" does not mean you forgive. When we use the word "forgive," what we mean is
somebody has hurt you and you realize that that person is not responsible. When you realize that that
person is not responsible, forgiveness happens; you do not forgive.
Now, how to realize that the other person is not responsible? Somebody has hurt you and if you be with
that pain, without escaping from that pain, if you really suffer then suddenly you realize the other
person is not responsible. It actually does not need effort or time.
Let us say there's a snake in this hall, and you are very frightened. It's a bit dark, but somebody goes
and throws a light on it, and you see it is a rope, and then fear goes away immediately. It does not take
time or effort. Similarly, if you truly suffer, it does not take time or effort.
You don't have to forgive; forgiveness happens. You will get full
understanding into this only when you apply it and do it.
If you cannot forgive a person, you will be ruining yourself. So, you're forgiving the other person not
for the other person's sake, but for your own good.
Most of your problems in the external world arise because of your hurts. A hurt inside
can cause an external problem.
Bhagavan also suggests that when you find you can't forgive, become helpless. Then go to
AmmaBhagavan in helplessness and ask for help, especially while receiving deeksha. (You can get deeksha Oneness Blessings online.)
When we follow Sri Bhagavan's instructions, achieving forgiveness couldn't be simpler. To