How to Forgive

Sri Bhagavan has always told us that setting right your relationships is one of the most vital components of the Awakening process, and forgiveness, especially knowing how to forgive correctly, definitely plays a big part in this.

The problem is that all this time we've been going about forgiving the wrong way.  This way works!

Sri Bhagavan Explains How to Forgive--

the Correct Way

In one of Sri Bhagavan's darshans a seeker asked the question, "How to forgive, even if it's unforgivable?"  In this video Bhagavan explains his teaching of "suffer and forgive" and tells how to forgive the right way (a transcript follows.)

 Asking for forgiveness:  the correct way    (1:56)

Transcript:

Actually, the teaching is "suffer and forgive," which means you first suffer and then forgiveness happens.
 
Here the word "forgiveness" does not mean you forgive.  When we use the word "forgive," what we mean is somebody has hurt you and you realize that that person is not responsible.  When you realize that that person is not responsible, forgiveness happens; you do not forgive.
 ‬
‪Now, how to realize that the other person is not responsible?  Some-body has hurt you and if you be with that pain, without escaping from that pain, if you really suffer then suddenly you realize the other person is not responsible.  It actually does not need effort or time.
 
‪Let us say there's a snake in this hall, and you are very frightened.  It's a bit dark, but somebody goes and throws a light on it, and you see it is a rope, and then fear goes away immediately.  It does not take time or effort.  Similarly, if you truly suffer, it does not take time or effort.

You don't have to forgive; forgiveness happens. ‬ ‪You will get full understanding into this only when you apply it and do it.
 
If you cannot forgive a person, you will be ruining yourself.  So, you're forgiving the other person not for the other person's sake, but for your own good.

Most of your problems in the external world arise because of your hurts.  A hurt inside can cause an external problem. 

Bhagavan also suggests that when you find you can't forgive, become helpless.  Then go to AmmaBhagavan in helplessness and ask for help, especially while receiving deeksha.  (You can get deeksha Oneness Blessings online.)

When we follow Sri Bhagavan's instructions, achieving forgiveness couldn't be simpler.  To your success.

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