Sri Bhagavan always told us that healing relationships (of all kinds) is THE most important thing we can do to speed our own enlightenment process.  He calls it "setting right relation-ships."

--P. J.,  6-08   

Healing Relationships is Vital to
Spiritual Enlightenment

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When we first begin our journey towards enlightenment, we usually find that there are major parts of our inner selves that we have kept repressed and hidden.  Sometimes these are simply things we're unaware of, and sometimes these issues have been too painful to bring to the surface and look at.  In order to grow, these hidden parts of ourselves have to be revealed and experienced.

It's easier if, from the beginning, that you understand that any resulting pain you might experience from this unveiling is a healing process that helps you.  It's not some sort of punishment or purposeful, personal torment.  Just knowing this should help you to experience the healing process of setting right relationships without fighting, resisting, or contracting against it.

The Hidden Gift of Confronting Issues and Healing Relationships

Anytime you experience a problem in your relationships, it's an opportunity to see more of who you really are.  Whether the problem is with a spouse, lover, relative, friend, or even a stranger, the problem isn't that you're seeing something you don't like about the other person, you're actually getting to see a part of your own self who is hurt, who wants love, who feels guilty, who hates, who wants attention, who cannot forgive, who feels rejected, and/or who feels that he or she isn't accepted, etc.

These hidden, suppressed feelings are the true underlying cause of the problem and must come to light, otherwise they will just continue to create more relationship problems, and can even spread into other areas of your life.  The question is do you want to grow spiritually, or do you want to continue to sweep your issues under the carpet.

Remember that when you're in the midst of a relationship problem, the problem isn't really with the relationship or another person, it (and the solution) lies within yourself.  You are merely having a problem accepting the reality of what is going on within yourself.  It's also important to remember that you aren't being condemned or judged by the Divine when relationships seem to hit the skids...

It's actually a merciful gift of spirituality--a healing process that will allow you to grow.

As you begin to see and understand the underlying issues and come to accept them within yourself, you can finally accept the other person also as they truly are.  We always tend to think that trying to talk to or reason with the other person will solve the issue.  From past experience you already know this isn't true.  The only thing you can do is to accept and heal the resistances within yourself.

Whatever the situation is, it has nothing at all to do with the other person.  As much as you'd like to blame them, they aren't the ones responsible for the pain you feel.  It's how you are experiencing him or her in relation to your own inner issues that is the basis of the relationship problem.  As you begin to face the truth of your own resistances, it begins the process of melting your issues under the bright light of your own awareness.

Bhagavan has said that a true state of enlightenment can't occur without a fully healed heart, and healing relationships is vital to that end.  Divine Grace (and deekshas) can help you through the situation. 

Be sure to also see the video of Sri Bhagavan speaking about how to confront your issues for healing relationships and ending suffering.

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